Yet again....why I don't swim in the ocean.

BECAUSE EVERYTHING IN THERE WANTS YOU DEAD.

Here's more proof.

I'm sure this guy was like any one of us. He didn't get up that morning and say "why I think I'll go get myself chomped by a great white shark today, bully for me!" I doubt he put on his "sharks suck" t-shirt or rubbed dead cod on his legs before he went for a swim. Chances are, there were no Danger: Angry Sharks signs when he went down to the beach. He may have had dinner plans, or already booked his flight home for the holidays. He might have standing dental appointments. But it doesn't matter, he went swimming in the ocean and now he's dead.

Because that shark wanted to kill him. And did a pretty bang-up job of it too.

Sharks are good like that. 350 million years of family killin' history makes one rather adept.

One thing they can't do: snuff me on shore. So that's where I'll be. You go ahead. I'll watch.

They said they're not going to go try to find the shark that did it and kill it. Good. Sharks are protected anyway, as well they should be. We kill enough of them, the score is severely pitched in our favor. Years ago there would have been a beach-wide shark hunt looking for anything with teeth they could string up. As if in revenge. Now we know better....we're not going to teach the sharks anything, and the oceans need them around. What they don't need is us around. To shark brains we're just fucked-up seals anyway....all floppy and skinny and easy to kill. They take a bite and find out we taste like ass, and take off.

This does not apply to tiger or bull sharks, of course, who don't give a damn what we taste like. They're staying for dinner and we're on the menu.

Me.....I'm sending my regrets.